Gimmeee....

Can't believe Christmas is almost here!! This is the time of year I think I find myself reflecting back the most, and this year is no exception. This will be our first Christmas without Brandon's dad, and I find myself thinking about him alot. Thinking back on past Christmas'..Wishing I would have gotten one last picture of him with the kids. Remembering how sick and miserable he was last  Christmas, but he still made it by to see the kids even if only for a few minutes. I am trying to grasp that this Christmas he is happy and healthy! No more Pain or struggling and he WILL get to see the kids :)

Lately, I have been worried that with my kids I am failing to teach them the true meaning of giving and recieving..They all have the "gimmeeees". I know that some of it is their ages and some of it is just being kids and being excited, but I worry that I am not teaching them what it really is all about. And this is when my lessons from Gary come to mind. I think about how little he had and how he struggled to make ends meet. But how he managed to pull together something special for me and my kids at hollidays. It may have came from the dollar tree but it was what he could do. It was a sacrifice, it was from his heart and it was so very special. Looking back, I didn't express enough to my kids how special these gifts were. For a few reasons..Right or wrong, I tried to protect my kids from  knowing the pain of everything their Grandpa faced. ANd two, you never know what will come out of little mouths ;) So this year, I hope to "squeeze in" a little talk about Grandpa and how precious those gifts were. Not to give them a guilt trip, but to really help them to know what gift giving is all about, and to help them see what an awesome person Grandpa was. It doesn't have to be exactly what we want or the most expensive, but something that the giver gave from their heart and felt we were special enough to  recieve :) Merry Christmas to you all! Enjoy your time and treasure your family and friends!

Halloween..BOO hoo

Halloween is here...This will be the first Halloween without Brandon's dad. Most people would think this isn't a big deal it is only halloween, not for me. Over the last few years halloween has been a big deal with grandpa Gary! Even though some years he was very sick or had next to no money he still INSISTED I brought the kids by so he could see them in their costumes. He always found a way to get to the store and make a special little treat bag for each of them. He loved my boys so much, and I will always appreciate the love and acceptance he showed the older boys when they came to live with us! The joy on his face when the kids walked in was precious :)

As I was thinking about Halloween I started to think about the other hollidays coming up. Lots of memories of past hollidays with Gary came flooding back! I will never forget  one Christmas before we had kids and Gary went Christmas shopping for Brandon and I at the bar while he was working! LOL Each of our little bags consisted of a pack of smokes, doritos, a candy bar, lotto ticket, and a small bottle of liqour!! We laughed and laughed that Christmas, but over the years he taught me something very important. No matter how busy we are or how little we have, We always have SOMETHING we can do or give to others. He was such a great guy and I really miss him.  

:(

The time has come to say good bye...To Brandon's dad. In my 31 years of life this has to be one of the hardest times ever! Making sure I do all I can to help my husband and his family through this process, trying to visit, juggle the house and kids, and having to explain things and guide my children through this extremely painful time in our lives.I am losing my biggest cheerleader. I am very thankful for all of the friends and family we have that are helping our family right now..The help, visits, calls, texts, messages, babysitters have ALL been such a blessing! We appreciate them so much! We know that there is not much time left with his dad. Please pray that he is able to stay as comfortable as possible and that God continues to give Brandon and his family the courage and strength to get through this heart breaking time. I am losing my biggest cheerleader..Gary has always loved me, welcomed me, and treated me like his own..He has encouraged me through hard times and he probably doesn't even know how much that has meant to me and how much he will be missed!

Hatred = Christ?? since when??

WOW it's been awhile! I have a lot on my mind as usual, but today I want to touch on a very touchy topic... GAYS! Most everyone knows that Obama took his stance on gay marriage today, and as I sat reading various posts it came to my attention that some Christians are giving us a bad reputation :( Don't get me wrong, I uderstand taking a stand for your beliefs and everyone has a right to their own opinion BUT the hatred and ignorance that people are displaying all in the name of love for their God?? Remember that Jesus died for EVERYONE, not just people that are "good". How can we as Christians expect to win people to Christ when they see such ugliness and hatred pouring out? I am sorry, but that doesn't scream Jesus to me! In fact, I wouldn't even be in church today if it wasn't for my loving and accepting church family and pastor and his wife. When Brandon and I were living together before we were married and wanted to go to church they accepted us with open loving arms! Did we know they didn't agree with what we were doing? YES! Did they have to hate on us and judge us for us to see our error? NO It was through love and kindness shown to us that made us want to be more like Christ. Believe me..I get where christians are coming from, and honestly I don't know what to think about everything. But I do know that it is not my place to judge them as I have PLENTY of sin in my own life. And that is even if being gay is a sin..IN my mind the jury is still out on that one.With that being said, you can take a stand and follow him without spreading and teaching hate to your children! I also wonder how many people who are so against gays have ever sat and talked with a gay person...It's really not that scary..I promise! One of my best Friends happens to be gay :)